...fairy tales...

Did you ever believe in fairy tales... the existence of a true royal palace.. the princes and princesses.. the knights in shining armor.. true love?

Believing in fairy tales... is like believing in magic... in possibilities...

That a frog turns into prince...

That behind the beast, is a perfect knight...

That sleeping beauty wakes up 'coz of the true love's kiss...

That cinderella, a poor, simple girl... would be loved by the prince...

Perhaps, these are all true.. these can all happen.

But they doesn't happen just merely being offered infront of you, free for your grabbing...

You've got to do your part, recognize opportunities... take chances.

If it's all you've got, to make your dream come true, then do it. It won't matter how high and mighty it would be...

Enough of the uncertainties.. of the insecurities... enough of pessimisms...

This chance, comes only once... well perhaps, a second once has come along.

And this time, make sure you do it better... Make sure you show it... Whatever it takes, just prove it... that, it can be true... it can be possible.

Don't let it to just pass... Keep it... Fight for it...

while I'm sick...

Just about an hour ago, while I was there lying in my bed.. waiting for my fever to cool down.. I had a little discussion with my mind.. which goes..

This year.. 2008..
I would've moved out from our place.. SOON!
I wanna play... basketball!
I wanna go to... Bora!
I wanna buy a...cybershot T2 cam, green one!
I wanna eat at.. Le Souffle, The Fort... or Queens @ Jupiter... :)
I wanna maintain the weight of... 118 lbs...
I wanna do better at work..
Plans on having a boyfriend? ...bakit, may nanliligaw ba???
Fall in love?.. I guess..
Get married?.. big NO!

Next year..2009
I wanna go out of the country... first thing on yr 2009! =) Anywhere, as long as OUT!
I wanna visit the prison, hahaha.
I wanna learn.. a new sport..
I wanna undergo the .. Ariba Bootcamp Training.. hehe!
Sana maging Shift Lead na, hahaha..
Planning for my parents' Golden Wedding Anniversary.. (gastos! hehe)
Spend Christmas.... with someone special. (whoever!)
...more more more...

On the year..2010.
Turning 25 that year.. tanda na, haha.. =)
Dreaming for a car, probably.. or a condo? hahaha . Asa!
Marriage plans? Uhm, No Idea..
Single pa? Probably. hahaha.

Hahaha, whatever is listed above... who knows what will happen?
Just enjoy dear, don't rush into things... let them come in time, come in the right time.. =)

my littel angels.. with tita-ninang.. =)

I don't know if I'm angry...
Unsure if it's bitterness...
Or a little mad...
At least I know I'm hurting...

I thought you are who you are...
I thought you'll be there as you told me so.

I hoped, I wished...
That it will be you, who'll just be there.

But you left me out,
Left me behind...
You choose to stay away,
Preferred to leave my way.

Why did it turn out this way,
Why did it turn out,
To be you,
Against I.

I'm not good with words.
Nor with poems.
But I hope this simple message would...
Let you know how I feel.

I'm sorry I might've hurt you.
It's just me trying to stand on my own.

Just a smile. Perhaps just one more smile.

Be enough to keep me believe,

That after all this,

We are still who we were...

Bestfriends.

Dear Ai Lin

Dear Ai Lin,

You turned out to be a stranger, perhaps, as well as I to you. I'm sorry, I didn't intend nor wanted so. I just don't know, if I still have you. You were the person, I thought who'll be just right there. Not always - but at least, at most times. I don't blame you, I know it was my fault. I started it.

I moved away, as it was hard for me. I thought you'll understand, I thought you'll be the first one to understand. I wasn't being childish. I was just looking for a defense from my side. As I can depend on no one but myself. And it was the only possible way I know, I can, and I did.

I miss you, I don't know if you miss too. Or if you still recognize me. Been hurting much, not anymore from the relationship I've been, but for losing the bestfriend I thought I had.

I can be quite okay now, as I have other people around me. People who had been making me happy, making me feel that I'm not on my own.. And that been so busy, that I'd likely withdraw from loneliness.

But at times, I feel so empty, so alone... All I hear was silence... As all I wanted to hear was you. I tend to look for you on the crowd, I always wish that you're around...

I've had a lot of questions on my mind - all what is.. why is...as well as what if's... I don't know if I can find answers, I also don't know, if I want them... =(

Just for now, I hope you're okay. Be always okay, as that's what I've always wanted you to be. And be happy. I'll just be here, perhaps you can't feel me, I can't you feel you too. I'm so afraid, I might get used to, and you as well. But I know, in my heart, you'll just be in there.

I know. I'm sure.

Love,
Ai Quan

Message.. for Ai Lin..

You used to be my friend, actually my bestfriend...
You might not know, everytime I see you around,
I long to say 'hi', to give you a kiss, a hug...

I miss my sister, I miss the person,
I've trusted everything with...

I don't know how things happened,
I don't know how it ended...
But in my heart, it hasn't...
As my heart always whispers your name,
when you're behind me, infront....
or when you're afar...

I gave you reasons, why I can't get near,
I had to kept distant,
Coz' I can't get near yet..
As you're with ---..
It's the only way I know,
To help me move on,
To help me get over pain..
To help me forget..
As I can't depend to anyone,
But only to myself.
I thought it's my own way.
And I know it worked.

But you never gave me any reason,
Why can't you get close as well...
You choose,
To stay away, if I stay away..

Perhaps, I hoped too much..
That if I can't come near...
You will...

You speak, only when I speak...
You reply, only when I send you one.

Been tired reaching out,
Been tired trying much...
To say 'hello'...
Only to get a cold 'hi'...
Or a simple nod...

I miss our coffee times,
our shopping moments,
our hopefully-be-repeated-martini-night...
I miss sleeping, cuddling beside you in the bed..
I miss you waking me up, hugging me..
As I do the same on you..

I miss us buying stuffs alike,
I miss showing you approval or dislike 'signs' to anything I see around...
I miss our secret 'complains' or 'panlalaits' around...
I miss our silly bets...
I miss our simple chat..
I miss simply saying goodmorning...
I miss calling you my 'kapatid...

I don't know how to get near you anymore...
I'm scared, to be neglected..

I wish for the moment to come,
That we can still talk...
That we can smile...
And I specially hope,
That when the time comes,
I'd be marching on the aisle,
With you ahead of me...
As my maid of honor,
Or otherwise.

How are you Ai Lin...

I hope you're fine.

I hope, you're better.

I hope we can talk.

.....

No one can ever take your place...

You are, and will always be my forever bestfriend.

Even if you forget me, I won't.

You might find a new bestfriend.

I might have new special friends.

But you're always be different.

As you're my bestfriend.

.....

I miss you.

I love you.

Take Care.