Dear Ai Lin

Dear Ai Lin,

You turned out to be a stranger, perhaps, as well as I to you. I'm sorry, I didn't intend nor wanted so. I just don't know, if I still have you. You were the person, I thought who'll be just right there. Not always - but at least, at most times. I don't blame you, I know it was my fault. I started it.

I moved away, as it was hard for me. I thought you'll understand, I thought you'll be the first one to understand. I wasn't being childish. I was just looking for a defense from my side. As I can depend on no one but myself. And it was the only possible way I know, I can, and I did.

I miss you, I don't know if you miss too. Or if you still recognize me. Been hurting much, not anymore from the relationship I've been, but for losing the bestfriend I thought I had.

I can be quite okay now, as I have other people around me. People who had been making me happy, making me feel that I'm not on my own.. And that been so busy, that I'd likely withdraw from loneliness.

But at times, I feel so empty, so alone... All I hear was silence... As all I wanted to hear was you. I tend to look for you on the crowd, I always wish that you're around...

I've had a lot of questions on my mind - all what is.. why is...as well as what if's... I don't know if I can find answers, I also don't know, if I want them... =(

Just for now, I hope you're okay. Be always okay, as that's what I've always wanted you to be. And be happy. I'll just be here, perhaps you can't feel me, I can't you feel you too. I'm so afraid, I might get used to, and you as well. But I know, in my heart, you'll just be in there.

I know. I'm sure.

Love,
Ai Quan