2008...

It's year 2008...

A new year, a new beginning, a new chapter of life...

New friends to meet, new things to do,

More challenges,more sadness, more joy...

New bf...perhaps not...

This year, I'd like my heart to take a rest...

I've been tired, loving, hurting...

Just for now, just this time,

I just want to be on my own...

Perhaps, just love myself.

Uhm, on the second thought...

I can keep a 'dream' right??? (whapaaakkkkk!)

Year 2007

I would like to make a review of how my life has been during this year..

Started this year, broken..as I parted ways with Leo...
Mid of the year...reunited with him...
By the end of the year... he's out of my life, just again..

... my life has been such a rocky road this year...

Much of it was full of pain, sadness...

The good thing is, throughout this year...I gained important people in my life...

My Teletech, UHG 4.1 Wave mates...
Jeff, Yanix, Jho, May, Ecca, and everyone else, I miss you..

My teammates, from ePurchase...who I've been working with, and been friends with..
Jay, Paul, Wengcheng, Patrickness, Lanie, Arnel,Francia, Francis, Ollie, Mona, Dean, Amabel...

Patrickness - your being 'maartie' gives me smile..
Ollie - who became a 'listener' and always said 'i told you so' to me..
Mona - my 'gymmate', and has always given me a shoulder to cry on..
kAyKaY - the constant 'chat mate', my fellow 'bitch' , haha.. wavyu...
Roslyn - for always being there reminding how "adik" i am..
Al - sorry for making you mad... =)
RJ - a new friend..
Rony - for being patient to me, ;D

Ariba JPMC peepz...
Epurchase/Sparc L1, L2, L3 - ...
who became my new family in Accenture...

To the "old" people in my life -- Inay Tootz, Mona, Brendz, Jane, CACES Peepz, SLU Peepz, salamat sa pagiging bahagi pa rin ng buhay ko.

To my family - I miss you..

Teenuh - the 'ultimate bestfriend' andyan pa rin, hehe.. mahal na mahal kita..

Other highlights...
went to Puerto Galera,
joined the soccer team,
caught two bridal bouquets,
became a godmother to my nephew, Kant,
first time to see Manila Zoo and Luneta,
won in the JPMC Amazing Race,
joined the Ariba Top Model, (even if I lost, haha!)
had a Metrowalk Night with officemates-friends,
spent Christmas in Bulacan...

I did a couple mistakes this year...
I've hurt few people...And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause those pain,
It's just that, sometimes, you had to choose...from the limited options that you had..
Wrong choices, wrong decisions...
'Best options among the least'

I also hope I did some good deeds, more than the bad.. hehe. (bitch!)

Lastly, to the Lord, thanks for keeping me healthy, and blessed.. and strong, to be facing another year, and more years to come...

COOL OFF

Wag ka munang magalit
Ako sana’y pakinggan
Di ko balak ang ika’y saktan
Hindi ikaw ang problema
Wala akong iba
Di tulad ng iyong hinala

Sarili ay di maintindihan
Hindi ko malaman, ano ba ang dahilan
Ng pansatamantalang paghingi ko ng kalayaan
Minamahal kita, pero kelangan ko lang mag-isa

[chorus]
Wag mong isipin na hindi ka na mahal
Sarili ko’y hahanapin ko lang
At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala
Ay para rin sa ating dalawa

Wag ka sanang lumuha
Sana’y intindihin
Ito ang dapat nating gawin
Upang magkakilala pa
At malaman kung tayo
Ay para sa isa’t isa

Wag mong pigilin ang damdamin
Sa aking pagkawala, makahanap ka bigla ng iba
Ngunit pakakatandaan
Na mahal pa rin kita, pero kelangan ko lang mag-isa

[repeat chorus]

Sarili ay di maintindihan
Hindi ko malaman, ano ba ang dahilan
Ng pansatamantalang paghingi ko ng kalayaan
Minamahal kita, pero kelangan ko lang mag-isa

[repeat chorus]

ang bestfwend ko BINOYCOT ako...wahhhhh

What will you do, if your most loved friend in this damn world is mad at you??? You rather die, hehehe...
Well, not actually galit, binoboycot lang nya ako because of this diet-gym-slimming thing I'm going through, hehe..
Kakausapin lang daw nya ko ulit pag tinigil ko na to... eh mahal kong kapatid, kayo na nga nina leo ang laging nagsasabing ang taba taba ko na... etc.. which made me develop this insecurity, na feeling ko ang taba ko na nga so much, and na parang ang pangit ko na tuloy.. hehe.
Kaya ayan, nagdecide na akong magpapayat...
Pero kung ang kapalit naman ng pagpapayat na eto eh, iboboycot mo ako, eh, as if naman matitiis kita noh??? Hindi naman sa ititigil ko na , hehe.. pero, I'll promise na, I'll eat regularly... 3X a day, with snacks pa..(though, lesser,hehe) and I'll go to the gym, hindi naman daily, 2-3 times a week lang po.. pwamish.. :)
Sige na bati na tayo.. cry cry na ko oh, *sniff* *sniff*
Anyways, this slide is for you, to remind you na, wag mo na akong boycot-in please.. hehehe... we're like this, i'm the devil and you've always been the angel,hehehe!

-I-LOVE-YOU-TEENUH-CHAN-

3G

Let me introduce to you to the 3G - Tatlong Gunggong in fact, now, 3I na, Tatlong Inggitero, hehehe.
It's composed of Cloudz-Leighyoh-Teenuh..
We've been together since,4th yr college?
Teenuh is my bestfriend.
And Leighyoh, is my boyfriend.
We've always had fun together.. we can do anything, eat anywhere, laugh at things.
We can make fool of ourselves together, and we can manage to be happy and contented just by doing nothing..
These loves making fun of me, of my balat (birthmark), my toes, my nose, my weight, my size(they always tell me I'm fat!)...
We'll I also make fun of Teenuh's malnourished state, and Leighyoh's mabahong utot..haha!!!!!
We are now INGGITEROS because, naiinggit kami sa isa't isa, hehe. wala lang! :D

college friends..

These are the people I met and been with during my college days...
Classmates, co-officers... They are all special to me. :)
I miss you guys, hoping that some day, we'd bump into each other...
Oct13-14, and Oct 20-21, are the CPA Board Exam days, and majority of these people are gonna take it, so I hope and pray, you all the best , and God bless ya all! *HUGZ*

..my family..

I'm an Ilocana. Native for that most likely.
I was born in Baguio, grew up in Abra, I stayed there till Highschool..
Then in college, I moved to Baguio for my studies in SLU.
And now, I've been living here in Manila.

I grew up with the typical, traditional family.
Close ties, but sort of not really,
Because majority of relatives on the Father side,
Have migrated in the states.

Where do I start..
I'm the youngest of SIX children in the family.
From.. Roxanne, Rainy, Spring, Winnee, Summer and Cloudy.
You may call Roxanne as Sun,
Winnee as Win or Wind...
And me as Cloudz...

As a kid, I was playful..
Proofs, are my scars in the knee, and anywhere else (Sssshhh)..
I've been tagged as "maarte", "isnabera"
I liked wearing pairs..
If it's red, then everything on me is red, top to bottom..
If it's pink, then pink it is.

I was sort of, studious back in elementary, highschool, I guess, a bit in college too...
I've always been on the top ranks (haha, kapal!!!!!)
But really, I wasn't a lazy student, I always wanted to do good with my studies.
Believe it or not, I've experienced gaining Academic Scholarship during college,
Due to being the #7 in the Dean's List of the whole College of Accountancy and Commerce..
In Elementary, I was just the 2nd Honorable Mention Awardee (4th yun, pinaganda lng, hehe), but in HS, medyo, napariwara??? kidding, transferred to different schools..
so ended up, being one of upper ranked students, but, cannot be awarded to be an honor, because, I was a transferee.

But it's all okay. I enjoyed that. I had friends from different schools. =)

As a cousin, well, competition will always be there,
Especially if you all belong in the same age bracket..
Good thing is, it was a healthy competition..
Look at us now, we're all graduates..

Yeng is a registered nurse,
Kaye has graduated, and will be taking her CPA review by November..
I graduated with a Management course, ended up as an Associate Software Engineer
The difference is, they both have kids now..
They left me single .. :)
Ooopps, Yeng hasn't gotten married yet.

Anyway, I'd like to show you some of the pictures with my family..
Cousins, parents, sisters (minus my brothers), pamangkins too..

Also a picture of our farm (though not seen)
It's our little kubo, located in the farm, (I partly own? haha)
...

Unfortunately, don't have yet the pictures of our new little angels in the family..
I'd post them later, including, those taken during my cousin's wedding. =)

=)

I've been through a lot in this life's journey,
A lot of challenges came my way..
Heartaches too..

Before, I was too weak.
That I'd easily break down,
And cry in one corner..

But those moments,
Have made me stronger,
Now, I may be on a down moment..
But I can always show myself to everybody,
Than I'm very okay.

No one would ever notice,
That within me,
My heart is crying.. bleeding.

Thanks to the invention of SMILEYS,
Either in text, in emails, or in chat,
You could always fake your emotions. =)

Losing..

It's painful to lose something, or someone...

To Casper..

Losing a pet,
is like losing a part of yourself..
You've raised him, like your own baby..
You fed him,
Bought him those pet foods..
Take care of him..
Bathe him,
Buy him pet toys...

You've been used to hearing his barks everytime you arrive home..
His biting your pants, your toes, your slippers, or your shirt..
Cleaning his dirts in the house...
Even if I get mad at you some times,
For being so hard-headed,
I cared for you, so much..

"Casper come here"... "Casper, out"

And now, he's totally out from my life,
From our lives...
I miss you baby,
You know we , at home, all loved you..

If there's a heaven for animals,
I hope you go there..

To Lolo Richard..

We've known for almost two years now,
May not be lawful yet, but I'm like your granddaughter already..
I've never experienced taking care of a lolo,
Since mine has been living in the states...
And never got a chance to take care of him...

I thank you for the jogging pants,
I thank you for the simple 'pangungumusta'..
I miss the "mano po's"...
I'll miss going down to your house,
Bringing you food..
We, Leo and Tina, and also Inay, will miss those moments..

I know time has come for you to rest,
And I'm sure you'd rest in peace..
And you've been longing to see Lola in the other side too...

I hope that those people that you've left,
Will always remember you, and treasure the memories with you..

It's always hard to lose someone..

When you meet a person,
There would be this degree of willingness,
To get in to that person's life,
Be involved,
Share some laughters,
Share some thoughts,
Share some anger
Or share some pissoffs..
Share some loneliness..

May be share a cup of coffee,
And a little breakfast with that..

But sometimes,
It only takes a minute, or two,
And all that you've started is gone..
All that you've shared,
All that you've built..
Be it a friendship,
Or a special relationship..

All vanishes...in a glimpse of an eye..

For those that I've lost...

Be it a pet, a thing, or someone...

I'd surely miss you..
I'd miss everything...
From the time that we've met,
Till the last day that we talked...
I hope I'll have the power to bring you back..
But I know I cannot...

And that it's not possible..

it's my Rheyo's birthday...

Happy birthday Anikoh..

It’s your 23th birthday..

I wish you all the blessings in life and career..

I wish that you become a great man.. both as a son, as a friend, as a person and as my partner..

You’re doing a good job with how you are now..

Continue doin’ so..

Always remember that I’ll always be here for you..

To love, support, and take care of you..

I wish that we could celebrate our birthdays together till we grow old..

I love you…

..things I wished for.. :)

My anikoh (Leo) asked for my wishlist on my past birthday...he was tempting me of the stuffs I wanted..

...I wanted to have a facial (for the first time!)
...I wanted to have a pair of Havaianas slippers (coz' I don't want to spend almost a thousand for a pair of flip flops,kuripot!)
...I wanted an IPOD Video...
...I've been secretly wishing him to give me a bouquet of flowers (for the longest time now..)...

...and guess what?!? I got everything except the facial.. :) which is alright, I plan to have it before September..

..some bonuses, I got a surprise party at home, as prepared by Tina, Mona and of course, Leo..

..then a tarpaulin with my pictures on it..also a personalized birthday cake..

..and before I went to sleep that night, the unexpected.. - ipod!!!..

..i was soooooo surprised,and i love it.. :)

..but of course, the most important thing that ever happened that day is that, I had my friends and my hon with me.. thanks to you all, and love you.. :)

it's Summer's Birthday - July 25..

..it's my brother's birthday today, (USA EST time).. it's his 30th birthday..and still single,hehe.. surely I wouldn't reach that age as single.. :p

..hmmmm, good for you, you're with our parents during your birthdays..me? I haven't celebrated my birthday with them around since I was 9 years old..coz' practically, more than half of my life, all of you have lived there..

..and you my dear brother, Summer, I haven't experienced having a brother for a very long time now.. :/ (mad? hehe)

..but anyway dude, hope you're always okay.. i miss you..i miss having a "Manong".. that could give me advises on the stuff that I do..

..I never experienced someone to guard me when it comes to boys, because even before I reached my adolescence, you've left me.. :(

..I know at one point, you were disappointed with me..but I hope, you've forgiven me..

..take care of Nang and Tang, be happy.. :) hugggzzz...

so sleepy...

hey guys, it's 7:55 in the morning..and I'm dead sleepy.. my shift was 11pm to 8am.. dagdag pa, nananakit na ang ulo ko kakaisip ng gagawin sa 27th, birthday ni Leo..or rather sa 28, for a delayed birthday celebration for him..

..pati tong internet di ako matulungang magdecide what's best to do on that day! huhu!

..can't prepare a surprise party at home because, first, that's so predictable, they did that for me last Saturday (July 21)..

..secondly, i don't have time to prepare a house party coz' I've got work.. :(

..so please, kung may suggestions kayo..tulungan nyo nmn ako,hehe!

BANGS????

elow..wala lang akong magawa, at sinubukan kong magpa-bangs..hehe.. try lng, I was curious how I'd look like,that's why.. :)

ang taba ko na ba??? hehe...

hey guys, please judge.. chubby na ba ako??? hehe.. baka by the time that we go to Bora on October, I won't have the guts to wear a two-piece swimsuit anymore..hehe! :)

it's my birthday... July 21..

..we'll I've turned 22 last Saturday, I was supposed to post a blog on exactly 12MN but due to load of work, I missed to do it..

..another year has passed in my life..and I can say, I've been through a lot during that year... I felt love, guilt, jealousy, pain, anger, hatred, depression, insecurity, doubt, strength, forgiveness, independence...and before my year ended, something has started again..happiness.. and hopefully.. love.. and trust .. that this time.. to work, and be forever..

..I thank God for the forgiveness, strength, and guidance He has given me all throughout my past 21yrs in this world.. With Him, I find peace...God is so great, loving, and compassionate... and I've realized that, when one of the biggest challenges in my life has happened..

..also for the past year, I've realized how blessed I am with the presence of my friends, first, to my forever bestfriend-sister, Kristina Lou..thank you so much, you don't know how much I love you.. to my sis, Mona, to my "tols" - Jane and Jessica..to Brenda..to all of my friends who were there for me ever since.. thanks to you all..

..to my family of course, we may not have seen each other for a while (both to those in my province, and to my family in the states), but I know, I have your love and support..and I want you to know - I love and miss you all..

..to Inay Tootz, you have been a second mother to me - i love you...

..to my work, thank you for providing me a comfortable living,hehehe..

..to my Teletech friends.. I miss you guys..

..to Leo.. at one point in my life, I hated you, but during that time..that I had to let go of what we had.. it made me a stronger person, made me spent more time to get to know myself better..and grow..

..and because of you, I learned how to forgive ..even forgive myself as well..

..now that you're here again, I hope, we could both work things out..and that this time..let's have faith to the love that we have...and put God first in everything we do..

..I am happier with you in my life..

..looking forward to another year of surprises and challenges..and blessings..

..HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRAWDEE..

Puerto Galera Trip Part 4..

...in the afternoon, we had some more pix taken, while rain was about to fall..

...and, we bought some souvenirs from Puerto...of course, di un nawawala pag napadpad ka sa isang bagong lugar di ba?

...these are the last set of pictures from this puerto galera getaway with my Hon... it was a truly amazing vacation, but what made it more special is that, we were together...

..Thank you lord, for giving us both this chance... Please be there for us, always.. :)

Puerto Galera Trip Part 3..

...and of course, the main event when you're in an island... the water adventures!
Well, we had snorkling and banana boat..and on Monday morning, we went swimming..
First, we went snorkling at around 6:30 in the morning..the fishes, the corals - everything under the water are really amazing.. how I wish I'm a mermaid..so that I could live with them... hehe! Another thing, the islands were so beautiful..it's my first time to really get a sight of islands.. and I find it so enchanting, that you'd see the green trees, complimenting the blue sea water... whooaaa..what a lovely sight it was.. :)

...we also tried the banana boat ride.. it was exciting... and it was total fun! You might get mad at the motor boat driver, coz' he's the one who causes the banana boat to fall over..but still, it was very enjoyable.. unfortunately, sa minsang pagbagsak ng banana boat, well, tumama mismo ung boat sa legs ko, kaya nagkapasa ako..but hell! it was worth the pain, I loved the ride! :)

Puerto Galera Trip Part 2...

Upon arrival at around 1:30 pm, of course, first thing to do, take a pix! hehe! After that, hunt for a place to stay...anyway, it's off-peak season, so there's no need for us to do a prior reservation for this trip... and an FYI, this is my advance birthday gift to Leo.. we haven't had such a time together ever since we've been with each other again, since the last 5months of break up.. this trip is some sort of, rekindling the fire??? haha.. anyway, it's just that we did miss each other that much...

We found a place in Mendelluke Suites, it was a simple cozy inn...we stayed there for two nights..the rate was a little cheaper than the usual peak rates...(we had a discount!)

After finding a place to stay for the weekend, we went out to grab some food..we're starving.. :) Puerto has got a couple of seaside restaurants..where mostly offered grilled delights,and good smoothies too..they're all delicious, though a bit expensive.. after lunch, all we wanted was to get some sleep. We both came from a night shift work,that's why... so even if the island is there, the waters are so tempting to swim through..we chose to sleep..and recharged for the next day's adventures..

These pictures are taken till the next morning (Sunday) before starting our water fun...

Puerto Galera Trip Part 1....

hey guys..here, wanted to share these pictures..though almost a month delayed na.. :)
departure pa lang to..

..haggard, but happy.. :)

..i'm at work at the moment, but, feeling so sleepy, and tired.. haggard to be exact.. :)
just today, Leo and I arrived from spending the weekend at Puerto Galera.. it was really fun.. though it was quite rainy in the afternoon, it didn't hinder us from enjoying Puerto.. :p

..pictures are to follow, naiwan ko kasi cam sa bahay.. of course, di na nmn ako papahuli sa pagkuha ng pictures,hehe..

..it's really nice to spend the weekend after weeks of straight work..and of course, what makes it more special to take a break, is to spend with someone special to you too.. :-)

angels....

....here are two of my favorite persons in the world.. my bestfriend teenuh, and of course, my sis, bujoy.. haha.. we call her "bujoy" because of her bangs.. it's like Jolina's days... I'll tell you more bout bujoy than Teenuh, coz, aware na kaung bestfriend ko nga sya...haha.. uhm si bujoy...she's my only batchmate in college..we were both Management students.. my only batchmate kasi, kami ang naging sobrang close talaga during college.. and im so happy that she's now living with us in Makati... :p mabait yan..caring..."malandi"... at sobrang bookish.. hahaha!

...we three are the angels of 168 West Rembo, Makati City..haha!!! of course, sidekicks namin sina Ate Yani..at Ate Cel... hehe! :)

new image??

haha...nagmamacute lang.. sometimes kulot.. sometimes nakaglasses.. uso ba ang nerdy looks ngaun? anyway..bagay nmn di ba..hehe...
hay... it's quarter to 6 in the morning, and bangag na ko! :(

back home...?

...hmmm, it's been quite a long time since i last saw you.. after the moment of breaking up.. I actually never thought of seeing you once again.. i thought, it would take years.. till the time that you'll just be a familiar face to me...

...that's what I've struggled for the past months of my life.. i thought i was doin' it pretty well... till..here you are again..

...surprising..yet amazing... :p

Love Stood Still...

Love was a lighthouse guiding the way
We were two boats on the ocean
Following shadows that led us astray
A case of mistaken emotion
Suddenly you’ve drifted back to my arms
And while we were lost in the dark

Love stood still, pulling us together
Love stood still, leading us towards each other
Now we’re back at the start, ‘cuz while we were apart
Love stood still
Love was a fire burned down to the coals
Waiting for something to spark
We were two fireflies drawn to the glow
Seeing you lit the flames in my heart
I had my reasons for letting you go
But holding you again I know

Love stood still, pulling us together
Love stood still, leading us towards each other
Now we’re back at the start, ‘cuz while we were apart
Love stood still
Now you ask me to say
I’ll always feel this way
Darling, nothing has ever changed

Love stood still, pulling us together
Love stood still, leading us towards each other
Now we’re back at the start, ‘cuz while we were apart
Love stood still

francia's wedding..

Last March 5, we were witnesses to the exchange of vows of our beloved friend/officemate, Francia, with her long term boyfriend, Joseph.. she was very pretty, and so lovely in her wedding gown.. No words could describe how happy she looked like while walking down the isle..

After 10 years of relationship, they're finally getting married, in the eyes of God , and in the eyes of mankind...

So lucky for people who found their partners.. who found the person, they'd actually promise to love each other forever.. take care of one another.. and remain on each other's sides..on their entire lifetime...

..I hope someday I'll find mine.. :)

*sorry, got no picture for the couple..hehe!

CACES Friends...

If there are some people that I'd keep the friendship with...are the CACES officers batch '05-06'. We've worked with each other, had good times and bad times...saw each other's weaknesses, but remained to be friends after all.. I miss the rush of organization activities, the challenges.. hey, we manage to be the Most Outstanding Organization for the whole university, and in the city of Baguio itself. And most of all, I miss the Nevada nights, and the coffee afterwards... I just miss all the bondings.. I wish you all to graduate, so that you could all take the CPA review in Manila, and that we could hang out again as before..

sadness...

hiya... i'm actually in Baguio right now..what for? I don't know...

would it be just for the simple reason that I want to escape the busy city of Manila..run away from work? or rather...

trying to go back to the place I've considered my second home..trying to go back to the place, where I learned how to love that much...to the place where I actually met that person who caused me the pain I never thought I'd ever feel...and survive with...

I don't know..at this point of my life.. I'm confused.. I know I've been hurt.. and at the moment of healing..

I am happy..at least I could say that.. got a good job, got cool friends... but why do i feel empty inside...why do i feel incomplete...

everyone deserves a chance to be truly happy..and i deserve that too...

I hope i could be..I wish I am.. I know I will be..

-=batangas trip=- Apr 07